Just another miracle

Firstly, this is going to be way cooler to read if you have read the previous post first.

Two weeks after moving to Kansas City I stumbled into my dream job. Paper. Paper everywhere! Bright colorful paper, and more paper, plain paper, patterned paper, PAPER! I really love paper. Almost as much as I love fabric. I am a firm believer in thank you notes, brown paper packages, and regretful, impulsive letters feverishly scribbled at midnight. I love handwriting. I love weddings and invitations and baby showers and celebrations. I love gifts. I love being surrounded by things I love. I love helping people find the treasure they are looking for.

I sheepishly asked at the counter if they were hiring. She looked up quizzically and said that they were, in fact that very day a position had opened up. I ran home and sent out the online application, poured my heart out into the cover letter. I reeealy wanted that job. Like, really. I had this immediate gut feeling that it was meant for me. I got a call first thing the next day. I rocked the interview. I felt like the assistant manager Tom and I were old friends, you know, just chattin' about paper and graduating from high school in '98 and stuff. I was called in for a second interview right away with the manager. It was great. I took a deep breath and reveled in Gods swift and extravagant provision. Sigh...that was easy enough. People were shocked I had even gotten an interview there. It is apparently a highly coveted job notoriously reserved for people with art degrees, which I did not have. Man, this is good. I pictured myself biking to work, having lunch on the side of the Plaza fountain. Perfection. I kept asking God why he was so good to me.

A week went by, then two. Nothing. I called. They hadn't decided yet. I waited. Worry. There were bills to pay, rent due. Fear began to creep its way around my heart. I went back to WI for the weekend to get some more odds and ends. I balled up in front of the wood stove and rocked back and forth in a daze of anxiety. I asked God what was going on. This move was his idea. I thought he was going to provide for me. Then he told me something that shook the foundations of my independence. He told me that job was not going to take care of me, He was.

^{Luke 12:27} “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ²⁸ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! ²⁹ And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰ For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹ But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

I said, "Ok, ok God, I think get it. You are taking care of me...through the job, right?" I thought we had things sorted out. But I had not idea that we had only just begun. He began to peel my fingers back from their deadly grip. I dropped into the store and casually bought a half-off calendar. Awkward glances. "Oh Kate, hi, did you get the letter I sent?" Hm, didn't like the sound of that. They went with someone else. I was sad and confused.

Although that job had ruined me for anything else, for two months I sent out resumes and filled out applications and didn't get a single bite. But what I did get were pockets overflowing with miracle after miracle of provision. And time, lots of glorious, glorious time. Time to contemplate Luke 12 and the weight of what it means when the Author of Life tells you not to worry, to seek his kingdom, and "all these things" will be added.

Yesterday, two months after my interview, on a beautiful April afternoon, I got a call, out of the blue. It was Paper Source, asking if I was still interested in the job. I said heck yes and I laughed and danced around and praised God because I really want to be friends with those people and bike to work and eat lunch by the fountain. But that store is not my work place. It is not my provision. My work place is at Jesus' feet. That paycheck is not buying my food, Jesus is my food. It is simply a place to love my new city and point people in the direction of the Treasure they are looking for. (And maybe get a sweet discount on paper!)